I Love My Role

The other day someone mentioned how relieved they are that they live in this time period rather then in the past where women were stuck in their roles as homemakers.

But as Anna so eloquently puts in her beautiful blog posts - a woman’s role is a beautiful thing!

If both husband and wife look at their roles with the right attitude, it stops becoming a burden and becomes a beautiful partnership.

I still struggle to look positively at the endless cleaning, the fussy folding and the troublesome organizing, but I love my role. There are parts of it that I am guilty of allowing to let slide as I struggle along, but there are others that give me so much joy.

There is nothing as satisfying as being in a clean house with a lovely dinner on the table, and a happy husband and son smiling at me. That is a good reward!

I wouldn’t trade my role for anything!

Deliberate Lies

Someone just told me how her son's kindergarten teacher requested that children not inform other children that Santa is not real.

I am fine with the fact that the teacher requested that. The children should not learn from another child that their parents deliberately lied to them. Their parents should break it to them. They chose to lie they need to take responsibility for it. As you can tell, I struggle to understand why parents would do that to their children.

I don't understand how the short term happiness justifies it. What about that day of reckoning in a few short years? The moment when the child comes crying to his mother and asks for reassurance that Santa is real, and then the cynicism later of how they “always” knew that he had not been real, but with the knowledge that they had been lied too. Who likes knowing that something they had thought was real had been a delusion?

Saint Nicholas died in 347 AD, he is not going to be trying to climb down anyones chimney. Once the children realize that their parents lied to them the discovery is sometimes very hurtful and distressing. I know someone who remembers that moment with vivid clarity- more then they remember the times that they sat on Santa's knee.

Parenting sometimes involves some unplanned hypocrisy, but we try to avoid them as much as possible. So it is strange that so many parents deliberately participate in this tradition.

It is also pretty strange to me that non-catholic parents would even mention him to their children. Why don't they teach them about other Catholic saints too? Oh, wait St Patrick.. OK besides him..

Another thing that I find a bit disconcerting is how Saint Nicholas takes on many of God's roles.

This song is a great example:

You better watch out

You better not cry

Better not pout

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good..

He knows when you have been good or bad?!? Umm.. that, I thought, was only applicable to God and to his son Jesus Christ! Every time I hear this song in grocery stores I cringe at how blasphemous it is.

Before parents choose to tell their children about a jolly old Saint Nick, they should be responsible about their decision and do the research first, think about it and then decide.

Don't do it just because it is nice now. Forget the media. These are your children that you are trying to raise. Precious gifts from the God who watches over them as they sleep and while they are awake, who knows whether you have lied or whether you chose to tell your children the truth.

Scared to Talk

Honestly, there are some people out there who I care about a lot but who make me feel intimidated of ever saying anything beyond the banal everyday sort of things.

They are so sensitive and volatile that I have had conversations that I have planned out carefully for days blow up in my face.

Then they have the audacity to say that they would prefer people to talk to them personally if we want to address an issue or want to talk about something more intimate that is going on in their lives.

I would rather go into a cage full of tigers.

Seriously.

At least then it will only be me who gets hurt.

Because that is the other side of the issue. Yes, there is an element of self preservation here. I do not like being in what seems to inevitably turn into a drama.

But there is also the part where I don’t want to hurt anyone by my bumbling around in an effort to be tactful.

Yes, I would like to approach them and talk to the person on a one on one manner, but is it worth it?

After I think about it and remember the past, I usually decide no.

Yes, ideally it would be best. Christ tells us that it is best to talk to your brother.

But it is so much easier and the end (immediate) result is so much better if I find out through someone else.

So yes, my relationship with that person doesn’t improve, but then again it doesn’t become any worse either.