My husband and I call a police car that is sitting on the side of the road a "mobile conscience."

We have all seen it. For the brief moment that the motorists see and pass a cruiser they dramatically decrees their speeds to five or even ten miles under the speed limit when only moments before they were doing the opposite and going five or ten miles over the speed limit.

It often makes us laugh but sometimes it can be annoying as traffic congests and those drivers who are not paying attention are forced to slam on their brakes in order to not rear end the car ahead of them.

But the moment passes quickly.

Soon the cars pick up speed again and again the traffic flows at five to ten miles over the speed limit.

The fear of the fine and the risk of raising their car insurance makes people very wary of getting caught. Yet they still speed.

The true irony lies in how little is gained from speeding (especially when compared to the risks!). If someone wanted to arrive only five minutes earlier at their destination they will need to drive 60 miles on the freeway going five miles over the speed limit (assuming the speed limit is 60 miles per hour). That means that they will have to be driving for an hour in order for it to make even a remotely significant change to their arrival time!

It reminds me a lot of my son. When the tantalizingly interesting objects inside a forbidden cupboard is weighed against the risks of the punishment for satisfying his curiosity- it is often too much of a temptation for my little boy.

He has learned not to undergo his investigation when Mommy is around - and the moment I walk over to see why he is so suspiciously quiet he will immediately slam shut the door and look at me with such innocence. Though I can not slap his offending hand (as I had not caught him in the act) I will still give him a firm verbal reminder and walk him away from the temptation.

It reminds me a lot of myself. How often I try to cover up a lie, or try to justify a prideful moment!

But all the cover ups are of no avail. Just as the police officer pulls out behind the car that broke the law and my son gets a lecture for opening the cupboard door, God knows what I am doing- no matter how much I pretend how good I am.

For those little moments of feeling relief at avoided embarrassment or the glee felt when I feel like I am better then another person (isn't the heart so desperately wicked?!) - is it worth the feeling of guilt later? Or even more sobering- that I may be called to account before my God for those fleeting moments?

I need to always remember that he is not on the side of the road or in another room- he is always there and knows my thoughts before they are even uttered.

He Does Answer Prayers

It is uncanny how often I will read a verse or hear somebody say something or (like today) read a blog (two actually!) that covers exactly what I am thinking about that day.

My curious little son unearthed a little notebook that I had used a couple years ago. As he clutched the little book that was just the right size for his little hands, I remembered what that notebook contained.

It was full of hopes, and fears, and joys and sorrows. It was a book of my prayers.

Not long prayers. Just short little sentences that I would jot down as I prayed.

It had to be a little notebook so that I could carry it everywhere with me. I found it useful writing my prayer notes down as it helped me to sort my thoughts out and clarify to myself what I wanted to bring before my God.

When my son handed me the notebook I flipped through the pages and remembered some of the circumstances that prompted the prayers- the people I was worried about, the guidance that I needed and the blessings for which I was grateful.

And I realized, yet again, what an awesome God I have!

As I scanned each sentence I was able to see with a startling clarity how my God works in our lives. As I turned each page I almost felt like crying for joy as I realized how he answered my prayers, how he turned an impossible situation into something glorious, how he is able to change even the hardest and most rebellious of hearts and how he has continued to so richly bless me and those around me.

Reading those prayers and realizing what he had done strengthened my faith in a God who can truly do anything. Just give him time.

“Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thess 5:17)

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayerand supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peaceof God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Phil 4:6-7)

Praise God for he is our Shield

I realized last night how long our list of prayer requests had become.

Each night my husband and I snuggle in bed together and he asks me what I would like to have included in our evening prayer. Usually the list is short with only a few special requests but recently this has not been the case.

As I started listing off those effected in the Chilean earthquake, those suffering ill health such as cancer and kidney stones, pregnant mothers, and those doing missionary work at home and in foreign countries- when everyone is mentioned by name it became a very long list! (and I am sure that there are many that we forget to include!)

There is so much that is out of our control (what is in our control?) that it is humbling and comforting to realize that all these people that I know (many who are very dear to me), are under God’s protecting hand.

I can’t protect a family in a far away country. I can’t heal someone from cancer. I can’t look after babies that are in their mother’s womb.

That is God’s domain.

He is the strong tower, the nurturing and all powerful God.

We need to put our trust in him. For everything.

He is truly worthy of all praise!

“Praise ye the LORD. Praise ye the LORD from the heavens: praise him in the heights.

Praise ye him, all his angels: praise ye him, all his hosts.

Praise ye him, sun and moon: praise him, all ye stars of light.

Praise him, ye heavens of heavens, and ye waters that be above the heavens.

Let them praise the name of the LORD: for he commanded , and they were created . He hath also stablished them for ever and ever: he hath made a decree which shall not pass .

Praise the LORD from the earth, ye dragons, and all deeps: Fire, and hail; snow, and vapour; stormy wind fulfilling his word: Mountains, and all hills; fruitful trees, and all cedars: Beasts, and all cattle; creeping things, and flying fowl: Kings of the earth, and all people; princes, and all judges of the earth: Both young men, and maidens; old men, and children: Let them praise the name of the LORD: for his name alone is excellent ; his glory is above the earth and heaven.

He also exalteth the horn of his people, the praise of all his saints; even of the children of Israel, a people near unto him.

Praise ye the LORD.”

(Psalm 148)

What Was My Motivation?

The heart is so deceitful!

I recently had to make a very difficult moral decision that even now I don’t feel completely at ease within me on with what I finally ended up doing.

It is so difficult to look at a moral issue objectively when it is not as clearly defined as one would wish it to be.

The subtle layers of an issue can make it hard to come to the very core of why it is wrong, or even if it is wrong at all.

Then when one identifies that yes, it is wrong and why it is wrong, then comes the tough decision of what to do about it.

Is it something worth making a stand about? Is it something worth offending someone about?

In the end I decided that yes, it was something I had to make a stand about. My conscience didn’t feel comfortable with participating and making myself a part of what I thought was wrong.

But then, I found myself searching and questioning my true motives.

Was it really because of my high and lofty morals that I was inspired to make my decision.. or was it my wily and evil little heart that had tricked me into thinking I had, when in fact I had been lured by other reasons? The hateful flesh tricking me into believing that I had made the choice out of a pure intentions when in fact it was pride that had been the true motivation.

I hope not.

I really and truly hope not.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

It has been very frustrating planning everything that I'd like to do in a day.. and then be too sick to do even half of the list!

I try to focus on what I was able to accomplish and try not to worry about the cluttered dining room table or the tissues shredded over the floor by my curious little monkey.

But it is still difficult.

Have to keep on counting my blessings. We are all healthy, live in a wonderful house (just turn a blind eye to all that still has to be done!), and we are part of a warm and loving group of people who love and serve God.

What is a little bit of mess in the light of all those great blessings?

Finding Peace in a New Home

Besides the morning sickness and looking after my son and husband, we have also moved from an apartment in town to a house in the country.

I enjoy the solitude and silence. My home is now a haven from the outside world. I don’t hear the noisy trains, the neighbor’s television, or the industrial site that was behind our apartment. Instead I now only hear the horses, the cows, and the birds.

I was never unhappy in our cozy little apartment, but I can now not understand how I was at peace with so much noise.

We are renting the house and I know that we will probably not live here longer than two years, yet I have already grown to love our home- even though it is temporary.

We are sojourners in more than one sense. There will soon be a time when we will be called before our Judge and will then find our permanent home- in his kingdom here on earth. Then we will look back at our time now and be so relieved that it is now the past.

The contentment we will find then will far surpass the peace I have found in this little house in the country.

Morning Sickness

I have had so many blogs in my head as I was lying on the floor trying to avoid yet another mad dash to the nearest drain.. but found myself too sick to try put those thoughts down into coherently typed out words.

Now that I am feeling better hopefully my blogging will pick up! :)